My Facebook friends and family page is typically bustling with photos, random humorous thoughts and inspirational quotes. Occasionally I’ll see the angry rant about some frivolous problem, like a flat tire, or sometimes not so frivolous problem, like a request for prayers.
I personally love social media for giving me the effortless ability to stay in touch with friends and relatives from across the globe. It would be a full-time job to keep aunts, uncles, cousins and friends updated on what’s going on with me and kids, and conversely stay informed about their lives. For example, without Facebook, my sister-in-law would never see photos from the girls’ dance concert or Connor’s beeper baseball game, or Cassidy’s monologue videos, because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to share this information with everyone.
Within a matter of minutes I’m able to wish happy birthdays, see photos of my high school best friend’s kids and get a quick laugh or dose of inspiration from posted jokes or quotes. One time, when I forgot my mother-in-law’s birthday, I salvaged the oversight by filming the girls singing happy birthday and posting it on her Facebook page.
Recently, however, the tone of Facebook has changed with the upcoming presidential election creating online riffs and hard feelings between friends and family. Anti-Obama wars are resulting in pages upon pages of argument that have led to death threats or even worse- “unfriending”.
I have stayed, for the most part, completely neutral and silent online about my political views because I honestly do not see the point otherwise. Do I really believe that I’m going to change someone’s political convictions by writing slurs about the candidate they support? Of course not. And I wonder if these political warriors ever worry that posting negative rants will alienate cyber friends who have opposing political views. Regardless, I resolved early on to remain quiet and not comment on anything political, positive or negative.
It hasn’t been easy. Yesterday, I came across a paragraph posted by a girlfriend that starts off relatively eloquent in describing how she appreciates the fact that she lives in a country where she has the right to voice her political views, and the power to help determine who will be our country’s next leader. Unfortunately, this well-begun post took a turn for the nasty when she summed it up with unkind words like a%* and “idiot”. I had the fleeting thought to “unfriend” her for her crude remarks before remembering the pact I made with myself to simply ignore the political rant.
And then the issue hit home. My uncle began targeting my brother with anti-Obama propaganda, even writing, “Bryon, this is for you”, with a link to some FOX News article. The ironic thing here is that my brother is truly neutral in this presidential election and supports neither at this point. This began a series of back-and-forth rhetoric that went on for days. Due to the fact these arguments were posted on the public walls of each party’s Facebook pages, anyone commenting on these posts then opened that conversation up to their friends who would then comment, and it went on and on from there. What I learned by watching this dialogue is that there are either no Obama supporters on Facebook, or they choose to not initiate this type of nasty and time-wasting exchange of political views.
In either case, the public argument resulted in numerous death threats to my brother from people he doesn’t even know. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems hypocritical, in my opinion, to threaten someone’s life for publicly voicing their support of a presidential candidate when the entire purpose is to elect a leader of our free nation to uphold and defend this basic constitutional right.
Furthermore, I wonder if the people engaging in this type of online bullying truly believe that threatening someone’s life will actually help their candidate win the election. If one truly that much conviction in their presidential candidate, perhaps doing something positive like holding a rally or fundraiser in their home is a more productive approach to winning.
In any case, my mother at this point decided to step in and personally ask my uncle to please discontinue any public political conversations with his nephew and continue them privately either through email or direct-messaging (DM) on Facebook so that others could neither see nor participate in the dialogue.
The conversation turned ugly and my uncle ended up calling his sister names so awful that I won’t repeat them here. He then went on to threaten her that he was going to have her “kicked out of the family” and would work to “turn everyone against her”. Among many things one can accurately call my uncle, delusional is obviously among the first. He is, after all, one of the conspiracy theorists who believes Barack Obama is a secret Muslim plotting to take over the U.S. And I won’t even begin to talk about his views on a woman’s place in this world- that’s another story, but supports his fantasy that he has authority or persuasion as a family patriarch to banish his sister.
Anyhow, I’m not sure how he went from supporting to Romney to venomous name-calling, but I do know that it has guided me to make that delicate decision that I’m sure many social media fans have had to make at some point. See, everyone has that line in the sand, either large or small, that brings them to make tough choices. I’ve always loved my uncle and always will, but calling my mother vulgar names is probably my big fat line in the sand.
So today, with great remorse, and without the option of an “unfamily” button, I moved my mouse to the big “unfriend” button on my uncle’s Facebook page while thinking about how unfortunate it is that opposing political views are the origin of such an uncomfortable conclusion.
In the meantime, I’m looking forward to November 7th when Facebook will once again inspire and humor me with postings of important things like that first lost tooth, school awards, family vacations, funny comics and photos of my cousin’s garden in bloom.
Signs of happier days on Facebook:
Well said, my friend!
Very well said, I have blocked several people’s posts from showing up in my feed, people I care about dearly but the pure anger and hatred is just not acceptable. I am not as strong as you, I still post things, but I try to share information without the hate.
You said it all…
Thank you for this :)
Nice job, Toni! I think the problem is that the tone has become so visceral. One thing I’ve never saw coming with social media, cable and internet-based news is that you can create your own echo-chamber of your own world view. People are not looking for the truth, they’re looking for someone to support their own opinions because it makes them feel smarter. By living this reality, you begin to think the rhetoric is valid and anyone that disagrees with you is an idiot.
My father and I couldn’t be farther apart on political ideology, but we often have very pleasant conversations about politics because we both share a passion for them. We agree to keep it to actual topics that are of concern and not make personal attacks on the candidates. It’s possible but seems like a lost art.
I have felt the same way! I have decided my more political friends will be hidden till the election is over as I simply don’t see the point in being yelled at on FB or anywhere else for that matter. I’ve kept my mouth shut and have wondered if I’ve succumbed to cyber bullying? So fearful of speaking out on the topic yet knowing my friends mostly feel as I do….but not my family. Not my loud family anyways!
I agree though, once a line has been crossed….Unlike is necassary. It’s not like they are banned from your life, IT’S FACEBOOK!
I have unfriended real friends because I have no desire to read their daily bible verses or rants about my faith – and offended the heck out of them in process. Geez, it’s not like we don’t know each other face to face but the world ends if we’re not friends on FB? Yet I also get hurt if I’m unfriended as if I received a rejection letter or something.
I often think FB has become a weapon at times, I wish it wasn’t.
Yay Mom! There’s one thing about posting links to political articles or to-the-point posts with a point of view. It is quite another to air dirty laundry on Facebook, using an election as an excuse! I am so turned off by that, and the polar opposite: people who are overly offended from a political post here and there.
I’m sorry that happend that is really sad. I’m not voting for President Obama. Mainly I just don’t agree with his policies and some stances I feel are not for my religious freedoms. But I had a major disagreement with my best friend when Obama was running for the first time. We both went round and round then finally I decided I won’t change her mind and her friendship mattered more to me then any election. So we agreed to disagree.
I do post some things but just today I think I added how no man white nor black can hold another down that we are all loved by God and should not say horrible things to each other. I think it shows just how frustrated people are but it never makes it right to be cruel to anyone especially in our own family. I’m voting for Romney and you may not be ;) But I respect you very much and your right to the most sacred treasure our country yields.
The right to free speech and the right to vote.
So just wanted you to know that not all non President Obama supporters are so angry ;) And I”m sorry about what happend to your nephew especially the death threats that is really very bad.
I rarely discuss politics and I choose to ignore the stuff I see on Facebook. Because when it comes down to it my decision, my thoughts will not have any affect on Facebook, It will on the day I vote and that’s all that matters. You can agree to disagree without having hard feelings.
Agree with all your words!
I’ve seen this just as equal on both sides. I too choose not to participate in any of this and love the choice that we ALL have to simply block them from my news feed if I want to. I just don’t read it and/or respond to any of it. WE CAN ALL DO THAT instead of being involved in any discussions that are uncomfortable.
That’s the pits! I turn out during these times, I value what views are important to friends/family but at the end of the day I still am going to hold to my own.
To November 7th!